5 Love Languages Test for Couples: A Quick Quiz You Can Take Together

You've probably heard someone say "my love language is quality time" and nodded like you knew yours. If you're not quite sure, this short test will get you there in about five minutes. Better yet, take it at the same time as your partner, then swap answers.

The idea of five love languages comes from Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts and physical touch. Each one is a different way of showing (and noticing) love. Most of us care about all five, but one or two tend to land hardest. If you'd like the full tour of each one first, start with our love languages explainer, then come back for the quiz.

How this love languages test works

Below are 15 statements, three for each love language. Rate each one from 1 ("not really me") to 5 ("that's so me"). Don't overthink it: go with your first reaction. Then add up your scores for each language. Your highest total is the way you most like to receive love right now.

Grab a pen, or open your notes app, and ask your partner to do the same without peeking. These statements are our own, written for couples who are already together. They're a quick conversation starter, not the official quiz (more on that below).

The test: 15 statements, 5 minutes

1. A quick "proud of you" text can turn my whole day around.
2. My favorite evenings are the ones where our phones stay in another room.
3. When my partner handles a chore I've been dreading, I feel looked after.
4. A small "saw this and thought of you" gift means more to me than something expensive.
5. A long hug after a hard day says more than any words.
6. I replay nice things my partner said about me, sometimes for days.
7. A walk together with nowhere to be is my idea of a great date.
8. I notice (and love) it when my partner makes my coffee or packs my lunch without being asked.
9. I keep little things my partner gave me: ticket stubs, notes, a postcard.
10. Holding hands or sitting close on the couch makes me feel settled.
11. Hearing "thank you for doing that" makes the effort feel worth it.
12. I feel closest when my partner gives me their full attention, even for ten minutes.
13. Help with a stressful errand feels more romantic to me than flowers.
14. I light up when my partner brings back something small from a trip.
15. A hand on my shoulder or a quick kiss hello is how I know we're okay.

Score your results

Add up your ratings in five groups:

• Words of affirmation: statements 1, 6 and 11
• Quality time: statements 2, 7 and 12
• Acts of service: statements 3, 8 and 13
• Receiving gifts: statements 4, 9 and 14
• Physical touch: statements 5, 10 and 15

Each language scores between 3 and 15. Your top score is your primary love language, and your second highest is your secondary one. A tie is completely normal: it just means you have two favorite ways to feel loved. If all five come out close, you're someone who soaks up love in many forms, which is good news for your partner.

What each love language looks like day to day

• Words of affirmation: specific praise beats generic praise. "You handled that call with your mom so kindly" lands harder than "you're great."
• Quality time: undivided attention. Twenty phone-free minutes counts, and so does a micro-date squeezed into a busy week.
• Acts of service: noticing what your partner dreads and quietly taking it off their plate.
• Receiving gifts: thoughtfulness, not price. A snack they mentioned once, a photo printed and framed.
• Physical touch: everyday closeness: a long hug, holding hands on a walk, leaning on each other on the couch.

Need more ideas in your partner's language? Our list of creative ways to show your partner you care is a good place to start.

Compare results with your partner

Once you both have scores, sit down together and share:

1. Your top two languages. Say them out loud and give one recent example of a moment that made you feel loved that way.
2. Your lowest score. This is useful too. If gifts don't do much for you, your partner can stop stressing about them.
3. One small thing for this week. Each of you names one easy, specific thing the other could do. "Text me something nice before my big meeting on Thursday" is perfect.

A common surprise: people often give love in their own language, not their partner's. If you're a quality-time person, you might plan evenings together while your partner quietly wishes you'd just say "I noticed how hard you worked this week." Comparing results makes those mismatches easy to talk about, without anyone feeling criticized.

What the research says (and why it's still useful)

It's worth being honest here. A 2024 review by psychologists Impett, Park and Muise, published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, found little evidence for the theory's core claims, such as the idea that couples whose love languages match are more satisfied.

So treat your result as a menu, not a diagnosis. The categories are still a handy, low-pressure way to ask a big question: What makes you feel loved, and am I doing enough of it? That conversation is where the value is.

Want the official quiz?

Dr. Chapman's team runs the official version at 5lovelanguages.com, with versions for couples, singles and more. Our 15 statements are a quick, informal alternative you can do together on the couch tonight. Doing both and comparing notes is a fun way to spend an evening, too.

Turn your results into tiny daily habits

Knowing your love languages only matters if it changes what you do on an ordinary Tuesday. A few small habits, matched to each language:

• Words of affirmation: send a one-tap "thinking of you" with Lovestruck's Pings, or leave a Love Note that shows up on your partner's home screen widget.
• Quality time: answer the same daily question together in Lovestruck, then talk about each other's answers over dinner. Our 50 daily questions to ask your partner are another easy place to start.
• Acts of service: once a week, ask, "What's one thing I can take off your plate?"
• Receiving gifts: a time capsule makes a lovely slow-burn gift. In Lovestruck you can fill one with notes, photos and videos and set it to open up to 10 years ahead.
• Physical touch: pick one daily moment that always includes touch, like a hug before either of you leaves the house.

Retake the test every few months, especially after big life changes. What you need during a busy season at work might be different from what you need on vacation.

Frequently asked questions